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Devastating Mid-life Losses``Mid-Life, the developmental stage of adult life that calls us to make write-offs..our hopes and dreams have to be reajusted, some of our aspirations renounced as our time is more limited.. ``David Crenshaw,PH-D Are you presently struggling with devastating losses - something or someone for which or for whom you have invested a great deal of your life and that is now been taken away from you permanently? It could be the loss of a close family member, your favourite pet, a job, even your physical or mental health abilities? As much as we hate to admit it, we are journeying for a time in this life; death is a reality that soon or later we must learn to acknowledge. I was fourteen years old when my little brother, aged two, passed away of the sequences of a motorcycle accident. Alain fell in a state of coma and was hospitalized for half a day, he was diagnosed with brain laceration and scull fracture; than it was the end, without a chance to say goodbye! How can a child of fourteen understand the mystery of death; how can she picture loosing her only brother - perfectly healthy - (my two other brothers are intellectually under-developped)? No need to tell you the emptiness, the guilt, the sorrow, the anger and the sadness I felt; I was unable to hold him in my harms. Alain was more than a brother to me, I had learned to love him like a son. That's how close I felt to him! Seventeen years later, in 1991, my father left this world after battling with colon cancer for less than a year. He carried this illness for years, unknowingly. Less than five years later, it was my mother’s turn to say goodbye as she layed in bed one night never to wake up. We suspect a cardiac arrest or a heart failure. We spend a whole evening together visiting relatives; no signs of weakness would revealed us that this would be our last evening together! Three different loved-ones, three different death-experiences… and yet, you never feel totally prepared, as much as you never forget them. I quote Dr. Bob Deits: "Recovering from major mid-life-losses is one of the most difficult challenges any of us faces. Your life will feel shattered into a million pieces and you are challenged to make it whole again. " To do so you must allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. Give yourself the opportunity to journey through your bereavement. Remember that grieving takes time. This loss was an important part of your life and depending on your upbringing experience the challenge can be more painful compared to others. The Sources: The Peace of Mind Prescription - An Authoritative Guide to Finding the Most Effective Treatment for Anxiety an Depression, by Charles B. Nemeroff, M.D., Ph.D., Dennis S. Charney, M.D. with Stephen Braun, Houghton Mifflin Company Boston New York. Copyright 2004 Bereavement - Councelling the Grieving throughout the life Cycle, by David A. Cresnshaw, Ph.D., Life after Loss - A Personal Guide Dealing with Death, Divorce, Job CHange and Relocation, by Dr. Bob Deits published by Fisher Books 4239 W. Ina Road Suite 101 Tucson Az. 85741 Copyright 1992.
Bereavement - Councelling the Grieving throughout the life Cycle, by David A. Cresnshaw, Ph.D., Life after Loss - A Personal Guide Dealing with Death, Divorce, Job CHange and Relocation, by Dr. Bob Deits published by Fisher Books 4239 W. Ina Road Suite 101 Tucson Az. 85741 Copyright 1992.
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